Best April Fools jokes

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by Ivan on Wed Jun 05, 2013 10:26 am

Poor guy standing beside him !! Sad

VBR from Ivan

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by Admin on Tue Jun 04, 2013 9:20 pm

I cannot remember if it was April but I saw a video where a guy was in a supermarket. He answered the telephone:

"Hello, david."
"Christine? Yes, sure, I know her - lovely young lady"
"Yes we are an item, in fact I was with her last night."
"You are?? .. Her husband?"
"Ye - er! no."
"Yes, I am in the supermarket round the corner, you can't miss me. I an about 55 years, grey trousers, sneakers, blue shirt ..."

He then continued his description of the guy standing beside him. Laughing



/Harry

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by DragonForce on Thu Mar 21, 2013 11:58 am

Indeed!

I remember my days of working at Brighouse Games here in Bristol. Must of been the very end of the 70's maybe really early 80's. since space Invaders and Galaxians coin-op machines were still making a fortune in video arcades at the time. We had two engineers, a Welsh guy by the name of Hugh, very proud of his then brand new Vauxhall Cavalier, and a German guy who's favourite expression in the shop was "Now vee see if thee damn thing verks, vee apply dee volts, ja?" I can't remember his name, but Hugh would yell (in fluent Welsh) at any Vauxhall Chevette that overtook him on the motorway with "Who do you think you are, this is a Cavalier"...

We had an old Ford 2 litre Transit Luton van - in a headwind it was dead, and had to be driven in third gear foot-flat to the floor to get any kind of power from it, especially when loaded with three or four pinball machines.

The smell of Evo stik and the feel of brand new green baize when I had to recover a slate bed pool table, and the nicotine that would just run off the vinyl covered chipboard cabinates when sprayed with windolene. The smell of the Pledge polish we used to clean them up after before sending them back to the pub from where they had come.

I remember one guy there, Jim - drove a midnight blue Audi 80, he was a real character. Once built a circular table saw from an old blade he found and a washing machine motor. Was as dangerous as hell, but it worked!

The German guy had a habit of emptying a solder-pot full of molten solder (maybe half a cup full) over scrapped games boards. To this day I have no idea why he did that, it wasn't as if there was anything of any value on the board, the ROMs and memory chips were removed and tested/re-used.

Those were the days!

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by xqp on Thu Mar 21, 2013 10:26 am

Ah, the joys of sending the new boy off to get some tartan paint or a hat full of holes...

The looks of horror when the new boy comes back and the drill press operator has obliged. Smile

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by DragonForce on Thu Mar 21, 2013 9:45 am

Ah, the days of YTS!

I remember mine.... but I had the last laugh.

The boss sent me to the local wood yard for a "lounge weight" - yes, I have spelt it the same way he did.

I protested stating I knew I'd be gone at least three hours, but the boss insisted I went. Three and a half hours later, when I finally returned back to work, the boss asked smugly how I'd gotten on.

Imagine his face when I told him I'd simply gone home for three hours, sat down and taken it easy Smile A quick phone call to Taylor's yard confirmed I'd not been there Wink

He was livid, but of course, he couldn't fire a YTS (or YOP as it was back then - £20.55 a week to make tea, pretty much)

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by xqp on Thu Mar 21, 2013 7:14 am

This didn't happen on April Fool's day, but I was born on April Fool's day, so I get a year-round special licence. Or something.

When I was doing my engineering degree I had the "good luck" to work at a local marine electronics company. The owner's ex-colleague did the design work and he ran the manufacturing side. The part-time staff consisted of his girlfriend (PCB assembly), daughter (accounts) and the full-time staff was any cheap/free labour he could get hold of; students (me, for test & final assembly), YTS trainees (anything messy or boring) and so on.

While I was there, practising soldering skills I'd honed at the age of 10 and wondering when the "design" work I'd been promised would start, the YTS lad, who seemed unhappy to be there, was tasked with ever simpler tasks, such as knocking up power filters to sit between the boat battery and the sensitive kit we made. These filters, like pretty much everything we made, were potted in epoxy (he had lots of jobs involving epoxy) and one day one of these filter came back with reports that it "got hot and started bulging" when it was plugged in. Not good if you're out on a boat.

The YTS lad built it, so he had test it and I, having spent my youth reading about the exploits of Smithy in Radio Constructor, warned him about the perils of exploding electrolytic capacitors. He didn't believe me so he checked with the boss and the dangers were confirmed.

An audience formed, and after a bit of muttering from the lad, the power was turned on. Behind him, a couple of 0.3" IC tubes were brought down sharply onto a table and the lad vanished for about half an hour.

Martin


Last edited by xqp on Thu Mar 21, 2013 7:15 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : No sig)

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by Admin on Wed Mar 13, 2013 6:21 pm

[quote="DragonForce"]
Admin wrote:By "effective", I assume you mean - it doesn't go * B A N G * when fire is applied.....

You have to apply both fire and O2 to get it to burn.

/H

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by Admin on Wed Mar 13, 2013 6:18 pm

Naaa!! Helium has nowhere near the lifting power of Hydrogen. So if you want a lighter-than-air craft then Hydrogen is more effective. It is unfortunate that it is more dangerous, as the Hindenberg proved, but for an un-manned vehicle outdoors it is fine.

To put figures on it, Hydrogen has 1/2 the density of Helium, but it is the weight of air displaced that gives lift, which makes hydrogen only about 10% better than helium. However, to generate/separate helium is much more complex and expensive than just dropping a load of Aluminium offcuts and Caustic Soda in a demijon bottle.

As regards the BANG. A fireball in the night skies of Cambridge over Mill Road was quite fun, but in those days you could get away with a lot more fun than you can today. You can't do that with Helium. But I thought I knew exactly what I was playing about with.

As a matter of interest, if Hydrogen is the most abundent element in the universe (second only to stupidity) then why can't we breathe the stuff?

/Harry

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by DragonForce on Wed Mar 13, 2013 8:52 am

[quote="Admin"]

Anyone else had fun with H2? I know it is dangerous stuff, as the food bag proved, but H2 is so easy to produce. Helium costs a lot more and is a lot less effective.

BR "Hairy Lethal" - SM0VPO[/quote]

By "effective", I assume you mean - it doesn't go * B A N G * when fire is applied.....

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Re: Best April Fools jokes

Post by Admin on Tue Mar 12, 2013 9:55 pm

I used to work in the PYE Telecom service dept in Cambridge. We had a load of fun there, but occasionally people went too far.

One customer drove in with his vehicle PMR that had experienced poor coverage. Se we went in and checked the radio TX/RX and the aerial VSWR. While this was in progress the (non technical) vehicle driver said:

- "We re-sprayed the van last month, can that cause any problem?"
- "Oh no! What colour did you spray it?"
- "Green!"
- "Oh no. Green is for Earth or ground. No wonder it does not work. You should have sprayed it yellow for aerials."

The workshop foreman coveted his antique trimming tools. I built a crossbow with stainless-steel whip-aerial off-cuts and sharpened up a few for the arrows. I then shot a load of arrows into the roof and hoisted up the foremans trimming tools. A week before that I filled baloons with hydrogen and let them loose to the roof with his trimming tools attached. The crossbow was made to shoot them down, but I found another use for it.

The factory ceiling was high and irregular so it was not possible to get the steel arrows down, but over the next few years the odd arrow would fall down and stick firmly into a workbench.

My name is Lythall (pronounced "Lie-the-all") but everyone called me "Lethal".

On the subject of hydrogen, I once filled a food bag with H2 and applied a match. WOW!! what power - nearly blew my hand off. So I filled a huge bin-liner with H2 and let that rise over Cambridge, with a fuse attached (smoldering cigarette with match-head in toilet paper). It made the Cambridge Evening News page 3 with terms like "over 50 witnesses", "UFO sighting", "sonic boom", etc. But that was back in 1977.

Since then I have played with H2 a lot, albeit for more serious (but fun) purposes. Like the day in 1997 I 20% filled an Ericsson radio base bag (about the size of 3 large wardrobes together) with H2 and used it to hoist up an 500mW HF beacon (3.5, 7, 14 and 28MHz) with a 20:1 pulse on each band. The object was to compare signal strengths with height and distance. I was still receiving the 28MHz 3 days later. No idea as to the height but the bag was neutrally boyant with a couple of smaller baloons to do the lifting. I had calculated it would/could rise to about 50,000 feet or more but I never got to know. I never got as far as the main repeater experiment that I originally intended.

Anyone else had fun with H2? I know it is dangerous stuff, as the food bag proved, but H2 is so easy to produce. Helium costs a lot more and is a lot less effective.

BR "Hairy Lethal" - SM0VPO

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Best April Fools jokes

Post by DragonForce on Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:28 pm

Just a thread to get a bit of humour going.....

I remember quite a good prank from the days when CB radio became legal here in the UK.

You needed a can of silver spray paint and two self adhesive foam rubber pads. The idea being that silver paint was conductive, so all you had to do was spray two lines up and down the wall and fix the coaxial cable to a break in the middle of the stripe using the foam rubber pads. "Spray on dipoles" they were called.

The following year we had the "SWR spray" - it was similar to WD40 and was simply sprayed onto the aluminium elements (or steel whip) and then wiped off. the theory was it removed metallic lead from the surface of the antenna, the lead being deposited on the cold metal surface from an atmosphere full of lead fumes from cars burning leaded petrol. Lead being conductive, obviously had an effect on the SWR of the antenna.

Those were the days....

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